"...if you insist on instant, you'll get your tea, but you'll miss one of tea's most beautiful benefits - the blessing of slowing down to enjoy it. You'll be having your tea but losing the opportunity to stake out an island of calm serenity in the chaotic ocean of daily life."
Please take a moment to enjoy a quiet and serene space in the midst of your busy week!
We had a fun night last night doing this writing exercise where we each wrote a line on a piece of paper then handed it on to the person to our left. They then wrote a line under the first line and then folded over the paper to hide the first line before handing it on to the next person.
This meant that when you got the pieces of paper all you could see was the line written before yours. Think 'Chinese Whispers' in written version, well kind of.
At the end we then got our piece of paper back and unravelled the paper to read what it said.......The idea was to then take your "piece" and work with it to end up with a piece to present to the group. Some actually kind of worked straight away, some needed a bit of creative input.
Here is my piece, with a little help from my friends!!!!! (thanks guys xx)
and the snapdragons swayed
in the breeze
as the bird landed
her white wings whispered
whirling sounding streams
wings fluttered and
she was aloft
her song permeating
it brought me to dance.
Our relationships with other women are among our significant emotional bonds. While men provide the sense of other (as husbands and friends), women are mirrors for our femaleness our whole life long. From our symbiotic friendships of preadolescence to our friendships in old age, we look to other women to help us understand and shape our lives.
Yes, this is somewhat deep & may require a few moments to really sink in, but it is the saying that has 'jumped out' of the page at me this week. After a lovely afternoon tea with a dear friend yesterday, along with some other beautiful women, it has left me pondering the strength and might of my friendships......I am truly and wonderfully blessed by the friends I have in my life....
Well I went out for dinner last night at a local fab hotel with my writing group buddies before we went to hear a session gien by a children's author & illustrator. Before I get on with this post let me just put here that you should check out Sally Heinrich.....totally inspiring and talented lady......I am going to get a couple of her books for my nephews as my M thinks he is way toooooooooo cool for picture books now!!!
Anyways there we are all waiting for our meals & I am laughing over some silly inane comment when I glance across to the table next to us. There is a lovely family scene: mum & dad, grandparents & a cute little boy sitting up in a highchair. A lovely family evening I think, how sweet.
It is then that I notice a black box thing unevenly propped on the edge of the table with cords running out of it up to the little boy's head.
No I just don't think this is real..........it is not some life saving machine required to give this boy life it is a PORTABLE ......DVD......PLAYER.......!!!!!
I am absolutely gob smacked in the wrong sense......how can these parents just have this boy SO disconnected from the meal and the precious family time? What is going to happen to him in future years? No-one spoke to this little boy, no-one connected with him, he just sat there watching his dvd in a little world all of his own. I might add that this boy was about 4yo, was quite normal and able to manage by himself as at one stage he was taken out of the highchair by dad and taken to the bathroom. When his meal came it was put in front if him and he just went on watching his dvd. NO_ONE included this sweet little boy AT ALL!!!
Now, I am certainly not of the opinion that children should run the show, particularly when out for dinner, but my heart just ached and I felt like crying for the total lack of involvement this little boy had with the family unit.
I have been guilty (more times than I care to remember) of puting my M in front of the TV to give me some peace and quiet to get on with things BUT I have always included him in family time and meals.
Easy parenting you say, mindless and totally thoughtless parenting I say. This mum and dad totally missed the point of a family night out in my book.......heaven help the adults of tomorrow if this is their reality today.
and what shall happen
to my body when I die
to the space I now fill
here on this earth
who will take my steps
across green grassy fields
or jump limestone rocks
at the top of Anlabee's hill
who will walk again
the never wearying path
along Neill's water edge
my childhood summer
my sacred monument
at the far shore
who will remember
to do these things
when I am gone
who will care
for those I love.
Well I wanted to know the secret....and maybe in that work out one of the oracle's of life.
So this past week we went along with our study group to here Steve Biddulph speak on this very subject. Steve & Sharryn Biddulph are well known in many parenting circles and travel the world speaking on this topic amongst others.
Firstly Steve had us in stitches many times. His ability to portray the true funny side to parenting was spot on.
What did I learn? Well it sounds really silly and somewhat simplistic BUT whilst listening I realised a couple of things:
1. Max is doing EXACTLY what he should be doing for a 9 year old boy
2. We are doing OKAY as parents!!!!
Is Max a happy child? Well, yes in fact he is and I asked him this very question a couple of days later. His answer was, 'Yes mum I am so lucky'. My answer to him '....and I am such a lucky mum...' followed by a HUGE hug and squishy kiss.
I call that a win/win!! This has given me renewed confidence in my abilities to parent our son the way he needs to be parented. Yes, I might be a bit "soggy" but over all we are doing okay......well that makes me smile and watching our Max be the person that he is, makes me the proudest mum on the planet!!!!
If you haven't read 'The Secret of Happy Children' by Steve Biddulph, check it out. It may just restore your faith in yourself and your abilities to parent!!
....A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet...
Meaning of this phrase:
What matters is what something is, not what it is called.
Origin: This is taken from Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet', circa 1600:
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
A story, much favoured, and as such highly suspect, is that in this line Shakespeare was also making a joke at the expense of the Rose Theatre. The Rose was a local rival to his Globe Theatre and is reputed to have had less than effective sanitary arrangements. The story goes that this was a coy joke about the smell. This certainly has the whiff of folk etymology about it, but it might just be true.
I am an avid Shakespeare fan so here's to adding a little bit